Yes, there are people we have come across over the years who have been selfish to the extreme and this isn’t always nice, but are they comfortable with themselves? The answer is probably YES. No matter how yuk that sits with you it’s probably true, they are looking out for themselves and they are comfortable with that.
We spend a lot of our early years being told to share, its nice to share, you should share, its good to share. To NOT share and keep everything to ourselves is seen as bad, even that favourite toy that meant so much to you, you where possibly made to share, that toy that you picked up first at nursery and now someone else wants it, you were encouraged to share and told DON’T BE SELFISH. You may have been told its rude not to share and even made to feel bad for not sharing.
Growing up this way may well have left a lasting effect on you, possibly leading to over sharing in the future, over giving of you and your time to others. Sometimes to the extreme that you made yourself feel bad if you ever said NO to someone or something, possibly changing your plans to accommodate others. Who wins here? My thoughts are not you.
I am not wanting to play the blame game as most people around us when growing up are a positive influence over us, they were probably told the same too.
So, its time to change what your brain has learned over, possibly, decades of programming, BEING SELFISH IS BAD, begin that change NOW. Start today to look after you, your health both physically and emotionally, don’t forget your mental health is just as important as your physical health.
Start to think about what you can do for you, what did you enjoy doing as a child but don’t do know?
These don’t have to be massive changes; the smaller changes can be easier and more maintainable than big sweeping life changes.
Do what you feel comfortable and allow it to grow, as you make smaller changes and notice the benefits it will make it easier for you to make more changes.
If you feel you can make a big change, then sit with it and think about how best to do this, if it helps plan your change, write it down if it helps, break it down into smaller steps if you wish, do what is right for you.
But in a positive way…..” Mayank Patel
If you would like some help to make a change, to feel lighter, calmer, more in control, help to shine then get in touch and we can arrange a free 30 min chat if you wish.
Get in touch if you would like to find out if Helen can help you, fill in the contact form or call 07788601599